Relationships are supposed to elevate you above standard social considerations and to fill you with the warmth of love and hope in the future. That being said, when relationships end, the idea of being transcended by the power of love might sound a little empty. It is not uncommon for people to need time to take it in and be in a position to understand what is happening – this is even more important if you were not the one who decided to break up. But, undeniably, everyone ponders about the same things at the end of a relationship. This article is giving a voice to the breaking up questions that go through everybody’s mind when the relationship is over. From doubt, guilt, hope, and self-improvement, each break-up takes you through a roller-coaster of emotions. Here are the most common questions you ask yourself when it happens, and how to answer them as honestly as you can.
#1. Was It The Real Thing?
You may have watched hundreds of romantic comedies, but you can’t still tell the difference between loving someone or having a crush on someone? Don’t worry. Most people struggle with knowing whether they feel lust or love, especially because both are feelings that make one feel good. However, if you are wondering, there is a way to make the difference between a crush and an emotional bond. A crush – while it can last for an extended period of time – is primarily connected to a physical response. It’s someone you are physically attracted to, whether you find them cute or deeply arousing. In other words, a crush is not someone you need in your life to feel complete. It’s someone you simply like to look at, like a nice painting.
#2. Did She Enjoy Our Time Together?
There’s an important question that pops into your mind if she was the one who broke up. Indeed, you may be wondering if you missed signs of her hating your time together. For a start, even if she doesn’t want to be with you anymore, it doesn’t mean that she has always felt that way. Additionally, you need to consider the impression you’ve been giving – and especially if you were respectful with her. Often, behaving politely, taking an interest in her and making an effort to show your best side are enough for her to enjoy spending time with you if she genuinely likes you. But if you’ve stopped caring, then maybe she did too.
#3. Was I Good Enough For Her?
It is not uncommon to worry that you may not have been good enough for her. However, you need to remember that there’s no system of ranking between people. It’s not about being good enough for someone, or better than someone else. It is about finding someone who likes your quirks and whom you like spending time with. Don’t go down the route of self-depreciation. It never leads anywhere.
#4. Do I Still Love Her?
When a relationship comes to an end, it is always a painful moment. But, for many, it can be tricky to understand why it hurts. There is a big difference between feeling in pain because you’ve lost someone you cared about and feeling that you’ve lost the attention that someone used to give you. Indeed, the first scenario is true love, and the second one is about hurting your ego. When you love someone, you can empathize with their emotions, and consequently, you are happy about their successes and sorry about their defeats. Not caring about these is a sign that there was no love. Additionally, if the end of a relationship shatters your plans for the future, it’s also an indication that you were planning your life with them. Your future was a future of we, not of I. Therefore, it wasn’t a matter of egocentric attention.
#5. Can I Win Her Back?
Love is a powerful force that can guide you through life. As a result, you may not be ready to give up on your love at the end of a relationship. You may even be wondering if there are some easy steps to get your ex-girlfriend back. Be assured that there are ways to win her back again, even if she is with another man. But you need to work on it. For a start, you will need to address the reason why she left you. While you may not know the real reason, improving yourself is a great way of ensuring that you are a better man when you see her again. Additionally, you need to be ready to take the blame and to apologize to her. This shows your sensitive side, and it will help her to trust you again.
#6. How Can I Move On?
Not every break-up leaves the door open for the possibility of getting back together. Sometimes a break-up feels too bitter for you even to consider wanting her back. But you can’t help wondering how you will be able to move on. Indeed, when a relationship ends, it is as if a little part of you had died with it. Knowing that someone couldn’t love you any longer is painful. But you need to find a new life strategy, instead of trying to get better at everything she didn’t like in you. This new state of mind is essential as it will help you navigate your way out of depression and anxiety, which are common after a break-up. Don’t be ashamed of your feelings. Feeling sad is natural. Stopping yourself from feeling sad will not help. Let it flow until you can focus on defining a new you.
#7. What Did I Learn From It?
Finally, you may become bitter and wonder what you’ve learned from this relationship. Every relationship teaches you something, whether it is about yourself or about recognizing the right girl for you. Now you know what the wrong girl looked like. It makes the task easier next time to avoid previous mistakes.