There are some men who really know alcohol. They can tell you what’s in every obscure drink you can think of and tell you where you can get the best one. Those men are called drunks. For the rest of us, it would probably be a good idea to master at least the basics of a number of drinks, say 25 or so, in case we ever need to entertain some hard-drinking business associates from out of town.
Men drink a little differently that women, and usually have different favorite drinks. While a woman might order a fruity tropical drink with a mini parasol in it and not attract any attention, a man would probably get stared down by the biker gang at the end of the bar. With that in mind, the drinks men should know tend to be a bit tougher.
Neat and Tidy
There’s nothing quite so manly as a simple man, and there’s no drink simpler than a “neat” drink. No ice, no soda, no fanfare; just pour the darn drink and get out of the way. In fact, it’s been a long week—just leave the bottle. Here are some classic “neat” drinks for men:
- Bourbon Neat – A classic bourbon served by itself to give you the “Marlboro Man” image.
- Perfect Pour – Technically neat, but with a little help on the side. This is Johnnie Walker Blue Label and a tall glass of water next to it to cleanse the palate.
- J & B – When the hardcore cop or detective is at the end of his rope after a rough day of fighting to put the bad guys behind bars, this is the drink they take straight. Really any classic whiskey will do, but you can always find JB.
- Pabst Blue Ribbon – Can you call a beer neat? Probably not this one, but it’s included here anyway because this is not a European microbrew—this is a good old, down and dirty, manly American beer.
- Dos Equis – Since we’re including beer as a “neat” drink, we’re going to have to include the drink of “The Most Interesting Man in the World.” This guy doesn’t always drink beer, but when the man does, he prefers Dos Equis.
- Scotch Neat – Is there anything more elegant than a man with a glass of Scotch in his hand?
- Irish Whiskey – Purists will be quick to tell you that the only way to properly enjoy Irish whiskey is neat. Bushmill’s or Jameson? It depends on your taste, and whether you’re Catholic or Protestant.
- Brandy – Brandy is another very manly drink that is always served without accompaniment, often at room temperature or slightly warmed.
On the Rocks
Ah, the clink of ice in the glass and the delicious amber liquid flowing over it. A drink on the rocks is just a half step down from “neat” on the scale of manliness, and a couple of ice cubes in your drink will surely not have anybody questioning your masculinity. Here are some fine concoctions to have on the rocks:
- Jameson on the Rocks – Okay, not every Irish whisky drinker is averse to frozen cubes and honestly, Jameson is just fine with a little chill.
- Jack Daniel’s on the Rocks – As long as it’s Jack Daniel’s, you could probably drink it out of a pink crazy straw and still be manly, so pouring it over ice is perfectly acceptable.
- Southern Comfort on the Rocks – You may argue that there’s not much difference between Jameson, Jack Daniel’s, and Southern Comfort, but the whisky purist would beg to differ. In any case, they’re all good on the rocks.
Drinks with Soda or Water
When you admit that you can’t handle or don’t like the taste of straight liquor, it’s kind of challenging to find a drink that won’t get your man card pulled. Luckily, there are a few drinks that fit the bill, including:
- Jack and Coke – Jack Daniel’s is Jack Daniel’s, no matter what you mix it with.
- Captain and Coke – If you’ve got a little “Captain” in you, Captain Morgan and Coke is a great-tasting drink that is as manly as moonshine and as sophisticated as a martini, shaken not stirred.
- Mount Gay Rum and Diet Coke – Finally, a health-conscious man’s drink. Even though manly men might be a little uncomfortable with the name of the rum, it mixes very well with Diet Coke.
- Crown Royal and Coke – This would be more entertaining to order as Crown Royal and Royal Crown Cola, but it has a little more satisfying bite mixed with Coca Cola.
- Gin and Tonic – This drink is right on the border of being a feminine drink, but anyone who’s had too many of them knows that the punch it packs is very masculine.
Now we’re on a slippery slope—when most people think of mixed drinks, they’re picturing some sugary, girlie concoction that would get you laughed out of the bar if you ordered it downtown. This doesn’t have to be the case, as you can see from these mixed drinks with which men should probably make themselves familiar:
- The Godfather – This is by far one of my favorites. 2/3 Chivas Regal and 1/3 Disaronno.
- Billionaire’s Margarita – While the margarita is kind of a woman’s drink, the Billionaire’s Margarita takes it up a notch and makes it more masculine. Made from Jose Cuervo Reserva de la Familia, Grand Marnier Cuvee du Centenaire, lime juice and ice, it’s got smooth flavor and a serious kick.
- A Hole in One – A favorite at the country club, the Hole in One is made from Johnnie Walker Red, honey, tea, and lemon. Sounds like a great cold remedy, too.
- Kamikaze – Even the name sounds dangerous. Smirnoff Red Label Vodka, triple sec, and lime juice combine to make you ready to crash just about anywhere.
- Black Velvet—This elegant-looking drink combines the pub toughness of Guinness with the class of champagne.
- Dirty Martini – Take the manly martini of James Bond fame and make it dirty and you’ve got a modern man’s drink made from Smirnoff Red Label Vodka and olive juice.
- All Irish Black and Tan – This is the classic Black and Tan, made from Guinness Draught and Smithwick’s Ale.
- Manhattan – With a blend of whiskey, sweet vermouth, and bitters, nobody is going to think you’re a lightweight when you order this powerful drink.
- Long Island Iced Tea – You will not get mistaken for a tea-totaler when you order this tea drink, which includes gin, vodka, tequila, rum, triple sec, and just about anything else the bartender can find.
It’s not necessary to know every drink in the world, but for men, it’s good to know at least a few. With these 25, you will be well-armed for your next trip to the bar with all your friends.
Do you have a favorite that is not up here? Tell us about it in the comments section below.