Go online, somewhere other than this blog and you’ll find millions of articles about all the things a girl needs to think about a wedding. You’ll find posts about choosing the right dress, how pretty your bridesmaids should be and what diet will fit you into that dress. But there’re not that many posts for guys who are on the precipice of getting married. Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, it’s not that guys aren’t interested in the wedding. We all have guy friends that have a biological clock counting down as loud as a woman’s. It’s just that a wedding is often seen as more important to the bride. They have more to do and a lot more to think about. But don’t forget a guy is typically the one that jump starts the wedding by proposing. That’s where we’re going to start, with the proposal. It’s worth spending some time thinking about how you’re going to do it, particularly if you want that yes.
The Guys Guide To The Proposal
Well, the most important part of the proposal should be obvious. It’s the ring. On average, you’re supposed to spend three months salary on the ring so please, don’t buy it off Amazon. I know you can get an engagement ring for two hundred. But essentially, what you’re saying is that “this is how much you’re worth” and “frankly, I’d rather spend the money somewhere else.” If you can’t afford it, fair enough, but if you can there’s no excuse. I know what you’re thinking. How are they going to know? If that’s the first question that popped into your head, I’m not sure you’re ready to get married. Women always know.
You can have a look for diamonds and diamond rings online. But we do suggest you make the effort to see it in a shop, up close and personal. As corny as it sounds, you should get a feeling when you pick up the ring you’re going to propose with. It should feel like a yes. If it doesn’t then keep searching. The ring is the heart of the perfect proposal. I know some guys out there have a brilliant idea for their own proposal. They plan not to buy the ring and then get the girl to pick it out themselves. That’s just lazy, and it shows you wouldn’t know the type of ring she would want. Not a good sign, boys.
Then, you need to consider the issue of when to pop the question and how to do it. You need to think about this carefully and not opt for the obvious of the cliche. One idea is to take a trip back to a place from your past. It might be where you first met or the restaurant where you had your first date. You might also want to plan the proposal like an event, as big as the wedding. If you have the time and the money of course.
There’s also a quick note we’d like to make on role reversal proposals. Or, when the girl gets down on one knee. We’re not against this idea, and you shouldn’t be either. If you find your girlfriend proposes to you, it means you took too long, and she got bored or waiting. Kidding! But seriously, don’t get embarrassed. Just remember a proposal is a declaration of love and should never be easily dismissed.
When Will You Get A Say In Planning The Wedding?
It really depends on who you marry. You might be lucky and get a partner who lets you have a say in everything. Unlikely, yet entirely possible. Of course, some guys hate this idea and would rather their partner take the reigns on planning the wedding. The good news is that you will almost always get to choose your best man. But you probably won’t get to choose the suit that you wear. It’s just not going to happen. That decision will either be left up to your blushing bride or the wedding planner. Please don’t think this means you’ll have any say in the dress she chooses. You won’t. In most cases you won’t even see the dress until the day of the wedding.
When you choose your best man, make sure it is someone you can count on. They need to be the guy that pulls you back from the edge when you think about calling the whole thing off. They also need to be someone you can trust to throw a bachelor party without getting you in too much trouble. In other words, it’s probably not the best idea to pick the guy who you took detentions with in high school.
You might get a say in who attends the wedding and be careful with this choice. You might think that those standing objections only happen on TV and in movies. Believe us; they don’t. They have happened at numerous weddings and are more common than you probably think. But they can usually be avoided if you don’t invite any wild cards. That means absolutely no, ex-girlfriends. We don’t care how close you’ve become as “friends” over the years.
We also imagine that you’ll be the one in charge of the honeymoon. Some partners love the idea of the guy choosing and making it a surprise as big as the proposal. Remember; you’ll only go on your honeymoon once, so it’s worth spending a little bit extra. Once you return it will be life returning to normal. That’s why your honeymoon should be a magical and wonderful experience, that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
Here are some of the things you probably won’t get a say in. You won’t get to choose where the wedding is held. You might have an idea but rest assured, she’s known where she wanted to get married since long before she ever laid eyes on you. You won’t have that much input in the style either or the music. Typically the entire ceremony is the girl’s choice and you’ll get more of a say in the wedding reception. Again, we know there are some married guys thinking they had an input into the wedding ceremony. Think back. Did you really? How many of your ideas happened on the final day?
The Bachelor Party
These days the bachelor party has a big question mark hanging over it. Most couples no longer bother with the hen nights and bachelor parties. At least not in the traditional sense. They certainly don’t risk holding them the night before the wedding. That’s quite possibly one of the worst imaginable ideas because so much can go wrong. You might not even turn up for your wedding. Again, bachelor parties from hell aren’t exclusively fantasy scenarios. They can and will happen if you’re not careful.
It’s worth thinking about what counts as cheating at a bachelor party. People often think of a bachelor party as the last night of single life. But it’s not really. If you’re getting married, you haven’t been single for a long time. That means while a stripper might be acceptable, any contact is most definitely crossing the line. You just need to think about whether the wedding would still be on if your partner knew everything that was happening at the party. Although at the same time, remember your future bride is probably having a lot of fun at their hen night. So ultimately, it all comes out in the wash.
Your bachelor party will typically be in the hands of your best man. You won’t get much say in what happens, where you go or even when it is. It will all be a wonderful, scary surprise and that’s why you need to be so careful when you choose your best man.
One of the biggest responsibilities you’ll have in the planning stages of your wedding is writing your vows. Is it a stereotype to say guys find this part harder than girls? Probably and we’re not saying that all guys find it difficult to convey their emotions. At the same time, however, it’s difficult to ignore the fact this is a common trend. So, if you struggle to write your vows, you just need to think about how she makes you feel. What your life was like without her and what you hope it will be in the future. If you write from the heart thinking about these three parts, we guarantee you’ll have something beautiful. Remember; it doesn’t have to be poetry; it just needs to have meaning.
The final thing you need to worry about is getting cold feet. Cold feet doesn’t mean that you don’t want to get married or that you shouldn’t get married. But you have to understand that marriage is always going to be a big change to your lifestyle. Suddenly, your relationship is permanent unless you get a divorce. That’s a big commitment, but if you make sure you’re ready to get married before you propose, this won’t be an issue. If you do get cold feet, we suggest you read your vows. They should tell you all you need to know about why this is the right choice.